Well, I came to Castlewood four weeks ago today. In a lot of ways I feel like I have made no progress. But I guess change is slow and it is hard to see from one day to the next. At least that is what I am telling myself is the case...
This week has been sort of blah. I guess I have been a bit blah. On Monday Jim pulled me into his office and told me that he (and the staff) were concerned about the 'incident' over the weekend. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Apparently there was a discussion in Monday's team meeting that I had stolen food or something when we were at Borders. Not the case. Eventually they figured out that there had been some miscommunication and the don't know where that information came from. It is still sort of unresolved, and even though I did not do anything wrong it feels as though my 'reputation' is tarnished by the event. I am pretty frustrated over it.
Additionally, I am having a bit of a difficulty with another member in the community. I feel like I am irritable and that I am not capable of making connections with others. It bothers me because I don't feel like I can say anything right so I decide to keep my mouth shut, but then always end up opening it and saying something to piss someone off. This is very disturbing to me.
It has been one week since I have purged. I don't feel good about it; instead I feel like I am just forcing myself to go through the motions.
Hopefully the weekend will be chill.
5 years ago