Thursday, July 16, 2009

Limbo

The team has decided I need a more intensive inpatient program to have a steadier weight gain and to have more structure and support in controlling my ED behaviors. I am so devastated. I just want to stay HERE. They have promised that if I do what I need to do I can come back as soon as I leave ip. They want me to go to Roger's Memorial Hospital in Wisconsin. I do NOT want to go. I have heard horrible things about the program. But...the alternative options are not good. So I had an assessment with Roger's this morning and am waiting to hear back from them. I am in limbo, and I hate not knowing what is going to happen. As soon as I get the go from them I will schedule my flight out there. That could be tomorrow morning or tomorrow afternoon or Saturday. I just do not know. I am trying just to focus on the logistics of what needs to be done. Cancel my cell phone and car insurance, pack, ect. Roger's ip program is very strict and I will not be able to access a computer or cell phone (or pants with drawstrings, spiral bound notebooks, outdoors...) so this blog is going to at least be on hold if/when I go. I will update when I know more....

4 comments:

DeeAyeEnEye said...

Jen, let me know if you can get mail there, I will send your post cards there! xoxo Olive Juice

Angel said...

No, it's a good thing though, hon. It could save your life! Try to feel positive about doing this as opposed to just giving up. I'm encouraged to hear that you wanna try this and then go back to cw instead of just giving up/going home bc it shows that there is some spark, some fight left in you. There is a part of you that wants to beat this. God bless <3

craftykid said...

This is good, although from the small picture view, it doesn't look that way. CW said they would allow you to come back when you are ready, and then you can get so much more out of the program. You can prove them wrong about 'this is the latest in your line of tx centers'

hollism said...

Girl...you can do this. I believe in you. Please send me the address if you have any time. I would be super happy to send you mail there!! I know this is so hard, but I know you can do it...you can beat this!! I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Sending you love <3